[Note from Michael: My client “Madelyn” has been keeping a diary since we started seeing each other, and she gave me permission to share some of her diary entries here. I’m touched and humbled that our sessions are having such an impact on her life. Thank you Madelyn, it is my honor—and PLEASURE—to support you! You are such an exquisite human–and I love our time together!
3/21/24
During moments in my days since seeing Michael, I would imagine a few seconds of my two times with him and I would fill up again with magical feelings of renewal. It brought me back.
I have been in constant amazement since meeting Michael how alive I feel. I have opened up myself and it feels spectacular. I am not giving this up. It is too precious.
3/21/24
Lasting treasures….
The way your hair feels after being pulled (love it)
The slight blush from beard and hair on your skin (love it)
Being constantly engorged with desire (love it)
There are so many………. (love it)
It is hard to explain the awakened feelings I have. So far, they are constant. Was I shut down, or coping or? I want to feel this alive. I will make space for this. This is me.
3/22/24
Everyone else is noticing! Comments like “you look 10 years younger” or “you seem so happy” or “what have you been doing?”
So, MORE feeling and exhilaration and Michael. How did I get so fortunate?
3/23/24
I could not get to sleep last night until very late. I am a great sleeper. I was aroused (constant since I first met Michael).
I started masturbating. I have SO MANY new feelings that my body is being washed with. It did happen. I fell asleep. Michael is not just waking me up sensually. I feel my whole self-blooming with his encouragement. WOW and WOW and WOW!
I trust Michael to take me to places/feelings that I may never imagined. I am going. I am absolutely sure.
I realize that my constant accommodating and being flexible to all situations (great assets) have led me to be my quite self. Not anymore. What an incredible journey to be on!
3/24/24
I am much calmer this morning. I had a good sleep.
I am vibrating with anticipation for tomorrow. I have in my mind things to say to Michael and then when we touch, I am in another realm. Thoughts go out of my head and feeling comes in.
Michael is beautiful and being touched/touching him makes me feel more beautiful.
3/25/24
Have you ever wanted something for a very long time? And, when it did become a reality, it was MORE that you ever imagined. A lovely thing.
Have you ever felt renewed, revitalized and every part of your being awakening? A lovely thing.
Michael… a lovely human.
Thank you for us.
3/25/24
When I was younger my sensual tolerances for many places being stimulated at the same time was very low. I could not handle the sensations.
I do not feel that way today. I desire it and want to feel everything. If this is aging…….. bring it on!
3/26/24
Woke up in the middle of the night turned on! Visions of the time we spent yesterday just hugging me.
I love the visual of Michael going to open the window, his back to me and the sunshine glowing on his beautiful body with a huge hard on facing the sun. So lovely! Such a turn on.
This journey of self-care self-love I am on is so incredibly revitalizing. I actually feel different in all the best ways. My energy is fueled by the bliss I am experiencing. I believe in “being here now” however I am so looking forward to each second of Michael and Madelyn.
3/26/24
Today I had a massage with Alyssa who knows me very well and for many years. She has worked on my physical well-being and emotional health. She gets me. She was aware of my wanting to have sex. As soon as I walk into her room, she knew I had a sexual adventure. We just embraced and felt the goodness pouring out of me. She felt my body was renewed and we shared the lovely details of Michael. My arms were testy in places “I like to hold Michael as close to me as possible.” And Alyssa knew that was why. What a joy to share joy. Alyssa was so HAPPY and supportive. So lovely.
Then I went shopping for pink lipstick. I told the salesperson the line that Michael suggested I say, for fun: “I have a new young lover, and I am looking to add extra sparkle to my lips.” Light pink please….
She said, “Well then, let’s go find some!” and, we did!
3/27/24
I slept better last night. I did wake up at 4 with intense sensual sensations. I am not clear if it is an orgasm. I am going to call it my “hugs” because I curl up and caress myself and think about the magic of me and Michael. My clitoral orgasms are very different from what I feel with penetration.
Happy woman here!
3/27/24
I saw my lovely therapist, Jenny. She could feel my energy as soon as I walked in. She was so proud and happy for me. Advocating for what you need as a person/woman and making it happen is the best. I have always been a “dare to be different” woman and I knew deep in me that awakening of my life force/sexuality/sensuality and energy was important. I was not aware of how important. I feel alive from head to toe. My well is fuller and I can be there for people in a calmer way because my needs are being filled. I am truly amazed at the difference. The best gift ever!
3/28/24
I woke up at 4:30 for my “hugs.” I curl myself into a hugging ball and feel. I revisit intense sensations from Michael and I contract. It is lovely.
I keep singing “you are so beautiful”—mostly just that line. Michael is so beautiful.
I want to explore penetration feelings and clitoral feelings. My clitoral orgasms are explosive and my penetration euphoria feels very different. I have wondered if this is just me. It has been lifelong.
I am very happy I have created this space for myself.
Working to make this intention a reality took a long time. I am a patient woman but the beast has now been unleashed! SO HUNGRY and SO HAPPY!
3/29/24
I had my “hugs” at 4:30 this morning. I am welcoming the feelings because I need them and they make me happy. I am soooooooooooooooooo turned on from my journey with Michael.
I also feel relaxed because I will see Michael soon. And, I know there will be more because I am making it so.
I don’t completely have the words for how I feel transformed (a work in progress). Luxurious and luminous come to mind. I am so jazzed.
4/3/24
I am still unpacking yesterday. I had the very best sex of my life by miles and miles. I have never felt so much. It started from our first touch. I have a serene calm feeling. Satiated and lovingly ravaged. One of my favorite places in on top of Michael. I arch back to the incredible feeling of being filled with such intense sensation. Michael thrusts and I am euphoric and orgasm. Today I feel transformed. I want better words to describe this bliss…. they will come.
4/10/24
His deep kisses
His hands on my belly
His breath in my ear
His cock in my mouth
His grabbing my hair
His entering me slowly
Her bliss
4/25/24
Daylong experience together
Bliss
Heaven
Completely alive body
Beautiful Michael
I had extreme energy especially sensually/sexually. The fire between the two of us was delicious, intense and many times our two felt like one. I was orgasming for hours. I loved deeply looking into Michael’s eyes and touching his face and also having him deeply in me.
His body warmth sent me. The curves of his body sent me. His breath sent me. Sucking his cock sent me. I felt highly electrified and at the same time completely safe. Michael held me and our space so we could have this safe and amazing journey. I am very grateful and want to do it again. It is one of the best days of my life.
I felt incredibly womanly. All parts of myself showed up to be loved.
It is two days later as I write this. I am still tired. I am still incredibly happy. A life altering experience for sure. I am truly grateful that I sent the intention and that Michael came into my life
4/28/24
Big tears are coming now. I am so grateful to be held by Michael as I go through all the tough challenges at home with my husband and others. It gives me a luxurious perspective. It grounds me.
I still feel like I am detoxing from my years of sexual inactivity. My skin smells different. My bodily functions are getting back in tune. My breathing has been heavier (maybe turn on).
I have never orgasmed sucking cock either. So great! I love to look at Michael when I am sucking his cock. He is in the moment and blissful.
We listened to the Getz-Gilberto album with “Girl from Ipanema.” So beautiful—both of us listened to it regularly in different times of our lives. Poignant!
This morning, I feel very wiggly with body sensations and the beautiful possibilities in my life today and future. I feel this sexy, slutty, beautiful and kind “Madelyn” is more open. She is ready for more.
4/29/24
Sex exuding from every cell
Encouraged by love
The sexy slut come out
She has been hiding…. no more
Embracing feeling
Touching, being touched…. loving all
Letting it fill her
Sensual energy
Alive…. awake…. READY
For more…. more
I do own my sexy slut self.
5/4/24
Michael fills me even when we are not together in our space, we have arranged for ourselves. It is so luxurious to be care for, seen, loved and incredibly satiated with amazing sex. It makes the challenges in my life (of which there are many now) more manageable, because I am taking care of myself.
We are having a sexual synergy that is evident and comfortable. I never thought at 69 I would be blooming into a sexual beast, and feeling younger than ever. Everything we do is with permission, and I am surprised at my sexual voraciousness. I didn’t realize how empty I was. Being filled, touched and seen is life changing. The sexual energy and the power of loving feeds me.
I hope to help other women realize that this happiness and energy are there for them to choose. You can set an intention and make it happen.
5/5/24
Had a fun time with my hairdresser Alex. He asked me what was making me glow and laugh more than he had seen in a long time. I told him that I had set an intention to have sex and I was seeing a younger M.E.O.W. and it was fucking fantastic. I told him it had been 17 years since I had penetrative sex and he said, “that is a life-sentence!” He said I “looked like the cat who ate the canary.” HAPPY! I am.
5/6/24
I feel in one way like I am a snake shedding a skin. I have lost weight and gained vitality. When you are constantly adjusting your life to support others, you do not realize the full cost of being constantly available to others.
I was repressing my needs and that does not make me a better caregiver. When my well is fuller, I am more peaceful, kinder, happier, laugh more, glow, have voracious sexual energy, feel sexy, feel beautiful and am more able to help others. The constant here (two months today) is incredible sex sessions with Michael whom I adore and love. I am thankful, grateful and look forward to my potential blooming.
5/9/24
Michael and I had a session yesterday. We have gone deeper and deeper in each session. I am amazed by the incredible sex we create together. Michael is getting to know all my best feeling places. He watches me, feels me and sees me. I too have learned his places and it leads to more pleasure.
Today I visited my friend Katherine whom I had not seen in a long time. Katherine hugged me and took one look and said “you look 17, what are you doing?” I said “I hired a M.E.O.W. – Male Escort for Older Women.” She asked, “Are you bullshitting me?” and I said “No!”
Katherine proceeded to ask me very detailed questions. We talked about positions, oral sex and two bodies intertwining for pleasure.
I could not stop smiling. Sharing at such a significant level of truth is refreshing. I told her about my desire to help other women see that they can have this if they wish to. I know it is not for every woman. However, for me, it is my life energy. Having incredible sex after 17 years feeds me in all the very best ways.
We talked for three full hours about Michael/me and us. It was sexy, we all could not stop laughing. It was a joy to behold.
5/11/24
Michael is 47. Even though I am 69 I do not feel the age between us in sessions. If we had met at younger ages, I am not so sure we would be able to appreciate each other in the same way. I was ready for him in every cell of my body. I have never experienced such intense lovely sex……EVER!
5/15/24
In cooking, making cheese, producing dairy products, wine there is a term, “terroir.” The definition is: the combination of factors including soil, climate, and sunlight that gives distinctive character.
Sex is like this too. You need high quality ingredients that are grown with care. The people (so important), passion, curiosity, some tools to expand the experience, possibly herbs/drugs to enhanced feelings and the openness to try different varieties/positions. The ability to share and talk so you can fine tune the experience.
6/5/24
We had the luxury of spending more time together yesterday in our pied a terre. A whole day of us.
A lovely part of the experience for me is the anticipation. The day before I was singing, smiling and cooking food for us. I could not wait for the time to go by so we could be together. The reality is better than the anticipation. I know this is not always true with things but…. it is for me with Michael.
I took a shower this morning and just touched myself all over saying “Michael was here…. and there and here.” So very sweet. We have created time for the best parts of ourselves to be. The sexual connection is truly amazing. I feel my voracious self-emerging after 17 years of being repressed. I will never let this happen again.
My sexual love and expression are an essential part of me that needs a voice. It is the key to my health, happiness. love and glow. Michael is a great listener. He responds to my desires. Michael finds a way for me to feel incredibly safe and 100% my sexy self.
I am not sure how I would navigate the sadness of my declining husband without having myself truly filled once a week. When a person is declining it is like 1000 small deaths. Each one has it effect. I need to feel alive, seen and be taken care of. I am.
I set the intention two years ago to add sex back in my life. It is the very best present I have ever given myself. It brings me to tears that she is back and has happiness, love and sexual fulfillment. I did not know I could feel so much JOY again.
6/6/24
I love being lovingly touched everywhere on my body. It is very sensual and sexy. It excites me and I have had orgasms from just touch. Michael indulges me in the very best ways and has picked up on what a turn on this is for me.
When your body’s senses are alive magic happens. The touch of a foot, arm, leg, back, neck, ears, hand, face and bottom enlivens all my senses and makes sex even more incredible. I can also curl up to Michael’s body and the warmth of him is grounding and so very sexy.
Don’t underestimate the sensuality of touch; kind and loving touch. There is nothing more erotic for me.
6/7/24
I feel like I am living two parallel lives. One of caretaking where there are 1000 small deaths as my husband declines. The lights are going out for him. And, the other being cared for erotically by Michael. I have time just for me with incredible sexual experiences that fill me.
After 17 years of no penetrative sex, I set an intention and after two years found my way to Michael. I am getting regular indulgences of the very best kind. I would encourage any woman to find this for herself.
In acknowledging another challenge with the caretaking of my declining husband; I am craving deep conversation. We always talked about everything. Now he feels like any emotion is a challenge. I have incredible women friends and we share however it is not the same. For the last two days my emotions have been on the top of my skin not knowing where to go.
6/11/24
Michael and I had a session yesterday. We tease that our sex could not get better but… it DOES. The session started with Michael reading me some sexy sensual articles he is writing. I love to be read to. The articles are sexy, have humor and are very well written. It was a great way to start our time together.
We cuddled up to each other and every part of me was alive with feeling. There is not much better for me than to be in the moment and just feel. Michael’s warmth, touch and care sends me to beautiful places and the orgasms start. As we fucked, sucked, touched, kissed and explored; I could not tell where we started and ended. It was the true co-mingling of two people who are attuned. I was feeling pleasure that I could not have imagined. Our sex was so intense and beautiful that I felt bliss and awe.
When I am in the throes of beautiful sex I say “yes, please!” and “oh my” and even “are you fucking kidding me!” and when it is unbelievably amazing, I say “REALLY?!” This whole time together was a REALLY!? I am still in the heavenly clouds of it today. I happily cried on my way home from Michael. I am so grateful that I have this in my life…. truly.
I know this is my reality for now. I am so incredibly grateful that I have my “parallel” life with Michael. I have learned to distract myself in the moment of reaction to my husband’s issues. Such as to dance to music, play a word game, do laundry, make art, exercise, write and it all helps ground me. This is all a work in progress. I am learning. I am loving.
During our session yesterday I had the feeling and vision of Michael’s cock in my pussy and they were one. Just melded in pleasure. I was stunned that two people could create such feeling. I was truly blow away by the experience. I never could imagine such sexual bliss.
I am sure more will unpack from yesterday. I feel that these words just skim the surface of the beauty I experienced with you.
6/11/24
ANTICIPATION
I have been speaking with my close women friends about ANTICIPATION which can be very sexy and thrilling. I am proactive thinker and also forward thinking. So, when a date with Michael is close, I relish the excitement. My friend said this about ANTICIPATION….
At first, I thought it was a crush.
No way.
Turns out it was a feeling from way back…. a tingle…. and most welcome tingle.
I am joyful at the thought of you…. of us. A new world awakened.
When we are apart, I yearn for him. Thrilled at the knowing that we will see each other soon.
Meanwhile, it hurts sooooooo good.
I agree with her description. Anticipation turns into an energy that is so fun. Getting ready for our time that we create is always in my mind.
I am sure this will be a theme in my diary because I love it.
6/11/24
I went to my friend’s house to day for a visit and lunch (she is 89). We have not seen each other for quite some time because I have been medical support for so many.
As, soon as I walked in, she asked me if I had had a facelift (NO). “Well, what then she asked? You look so young and trim.”
I told her I had hired a MEOW (Male Escort for Older Women) and let her know about my three months seeing Michael.
“Write an anonymous book about this! Or a blog! Women need to know about this!”
I was a bit shy about sharing but she totally got why. “Women need to feel their womanhood. It is a shame if we live with out it.” My friend also said “Your whole body is smiling.” “I am so happy for you and kudos to you for making happy happen for you.”
6/12/24
Michael asked me recently if my relationship with my body had changed since we started seeing each other.
YES! I believe after 17 years of no penetrative sex I have found my fountain of youth. I feel healthier! I have lost weight. I am a curvy girl and always had trouble keeping my weight steady. I don’t walk; I glide. I don’t wake up in the morning achy; I pop right out of bed happy for the day. I touch myself more; not just masturbating but all over. I feel myself glowing; I don’t feel repressed.
Sexual energy for me is a life force. I cannot imagine my life without it now. I want to more of a sexy edge to my wardrobe because I feel sexier. I am not as hungry (I used to get very hungry) because I am full in a different way.
And, most of all even with all my challenges as a caretake for my husband and others I have MY happy. I am more present. I am kinder (I was kind already). I feel REALLY seen and heard. I get butterflies regularly which makes me feel YOUNG! When you are not working from depletion everything seems better. I feel more equipped to handle what comes along physically and emotionally. I am blossoming and it is a gift to me.
6/17/24
I am fresh off an incredible session with Michael today.
I am discovering layers of sexual pleasure. The warmth of our bodies, kissing, tongues, hands, feet, penetration, speaking, caressing, deep eye contact and intertwining bodies for the most possible contact. So very blissful.
I think our ability to be open and try new things contributes to our sex getting better all the time. We have been pursuing anal sex which I have always been into. It was probably in my mid- thirties when I last had full anal sex (now 69). We had tried a few times but didn’t manage to get it in. I was disappointed but wanted to keep trying.
Today it was not painful and absolutely pleasurable. REALLY pleasurable! I am not sure why or what we did different but…. mark it as wonderful and something I want to experience again. I never imagined I would be feeling such sexual joy and pleasure after so many years of very little or none (17 years).
If you want to explore your sexuality at any age being open to new sensations and experiences seems to one key. Be kind and have an agreement before you start sex to stop or pause to give you a sense of comfort. I totally trust Michael and it shows in our comfort with each other.
I am truly amazed at the depth and intensity of sexual pleasure we are experiencing. I feel like the most fortunate person right now. Stay tuned…. more to come.
6/26/24
Michael….
Thank you for
Making me feel more beautiful
Taking me to where I have never gone sexually
Giving me the very best positive energy
Loving me
Saving me from losing myself in my daily challenges and constant accommodating.
Being a trusted soul who I can share all with.
Yesterday was a very sensual and sexy session. Being filled sensually and sexually is my “fountain of youth and health.” For someone who lived without being filled for so long (17 years) it is stunning to see and feel the difference in myself. This is a source of joy for me.
I got so euphoric during our session yesterday that tears of joy just release. I still get incredibly amazed at the feelings two connected bodies can have. Touch is so powerful. Intertwining bodies find the best intense pleasure places.
These sessions are an investment in me. The very best I have ever made. I would encourage others to find their own fountain of youth. It may be with a MEOW (Male Escort for Older Women) or a Friend with Benefits or? If you are craving sensual sexual experience, please set an intention to have it. For me denying this part of me would be slowing dying. I want to live fully and feel fully and be kind fully.
6/28/24
Putting all the stresses aside and addressing my incredible sexual transformation…. I wake up in the morning ready for the day with a renewed sense of self. I look in the mirrors to see my more beautiful self and smile. I continue to slim down and feel energized in the very best way. I feel like all of me is alive and working well. It is a luxury to have created the space to be filled with Michael; with us. I do know that I would not be so emotionally healthy without filling myself up so that I may support others that I love.
I want to pinch myself that the intention I set manifested. The reality is way beyond my expectations and I am truly grateful for this and look forward to every filling moment.
7/4/24
So, an imaginary conversation in my head….
Friend: “What did you do yesterday?”
Me: “Well, I went to visit my M.E.O.W. (male escort for older women) and we smoked some pot, fucked for hours and then I sucked him off.”
Friend: “Really?”
Me: “Yes. We also had rough sex with a flogger and slapping. It was super sexy, sensual and intensely pleasurable.”
Friend: “Really?!”
Me: “Yes. What did you do yesterday?”
7/5/24
My time with my husband as a caretaker elevates my stress level.
My time with Michael lowers my stress level.
I have written about the two parallel lives that I am living side by side. One of concern and always needing to be on. The other of absolute joy and having my needs fulfilled.
I am not going to stop.
7/6/24
Two of the three articles I wrote about us meeting have hit the airwaves of social media. I have stated from the beginning that I wanted to help other women understand how important finding your awakened sexual energy is. Your fountain of youth. Your glorious joy and well-being.
I know this is not for everyone, but for the ones who feel repressed because of life’s circumstances or whatever it may be: set the intention! This is the very best thing I have ever done for myself. All my parts, all my being, my heart, my soul, my kindness, my humor, my perky, my physical health, my mental health and my joy are BACK. I was partially asleep for 17 years.
Women are responding. I am so incredibly grateful and humbled. I feel so very invigorated because have helped. I am making a difference. We are making a difference. That is why I walk this world kindly…. to make my difference. I am full of joy. I am grateful. I am so looking forward to it all!
7/9/24
In our session yesterday I felt a lovely ease. It comes from knowing I will be having regular dates for sensual pleasure. I was desperate in the beginning from so many years of none. Now I feel the luxury of just letting it happen. I just savior each second and let it unfold. When Michael I first started having sessions, I had a “list” of things I wanted to experience again or try for the first time. And, yes, we crossed them all off. I still have “my favorites” and Michael knows what they are. I love being on this journey. I want to learn, explore, feel and push my potential as a sexy sometimes slutty sensual woman.
7/13/24
I am in my height of anticipation about seeing Michael on Monday. I find anticipation very electrifying. Anticipation is so very sexy and of part of my ready for Michael. A friend asked me today “What do you do to get ready for your time with Michael?”
I make sure I have well-manicured hands and feet. I have a clean body. I don’t eat after breakfast on the day I see him because I want to be hungry in every way. I wear clothes that are easy to take off quickly. I bring food to nourish us after. I disconnect from everything but us.
I have shared with some of my family members and dear friends about Michael and me. Every person has been incredibly happy for me. They share in my joy and encourage me to get what I need.
All of them have experienced me at my less-than-perky before Michael. Many shared (after the fact) that they were concerned about my state of mind which was so much on my shoulders. Most reported they felt this way for the last year before I met Michael.
They can see the difference in my spirit. They can feel the difference in my hugs. It makes me feel even more loved.
7/16/24
Yesterday’s session with Michael was incredible. Again, I am blown away by the incredible feelings two bodies can make. It keeps getting better, every session. I feel so lovingly ravaged in all the very best ways. I didn’t want our session to end yesterday.
At my age and after such a very long drought of sensual pleasure and intense magical sex; I would have never thought I would be….
Kissed, gently bitten and sucked all over from my head to my toes
Think starting at the forehead and ending at the toes. Now turn over. Start with the gentle pulling of the hair and go down the body.
Kissing, gently biting and sucking him all over from his head to his toes.
Having my body teased with gentle slaps, the leather strands of a flogger and his hands grazing me.
During sex I want Michaels’s body as close to me as possible and with as much contact as possible. It is intoxicating. I can orgasm just from his touch.
And, anal sex, anal licking and probing with fingers.
Positions…. so many I love. Michael is a great conductor, so I just go with the lovely flow.
It is all so blissfully euphoric…. REALLY
7/17/24
I have been thinking a lot about how the scales of “stress” and “bliss” balance in my parallel life now. One life of caretaking for my loves that consumes huge parts of me. The other life of being filled and being able to disconnect from my stresses totally.
Bliss overrides stress. The joy that comes from being lovingly filled fuels my body and soul for the tolls of caretaking. There is a sweetness in being full and knowing that I will be refilled. I totally underestimated the life force sensual passion is for me. The benefits to your soul, brain, mind and body are immeasurable. This was what I really craved and was missing in my life and now that I have it; I am in with every part of my being. She loves it!
7/19/24
I am not sure how other women experience orgasms. I did some unscientific questioning and got very mixed answers:
“I have both clitoral and vaginal.”
“I don’t orgasm.”
“I only orgasm with penetration.”
“I only have clitoral orgasms.”
I have always had clitoral orgasms and not vaginal orgasms until I met Michael. I had other lovers try to get me there. It never happened. With Michael it happened right away and there was no denying the glorious waves of contractions. We didn’t need to try; it just happened.
I have always had a very sensitive body. I feel even the slightest touches. When I was younger, I was not sure what to do with my “sensitivity.” Some lovers were uncomfortable with how sensitive my body was and my voracious appetite for sensual pleasure.
Maybe that is the answer? Michael and I are both open to exploring all my parts. I will not question the gift. If this comes with age; bring it on! I want to feel it all.
7/23/24
I am wired with bliss today after our session yesterday. WOW and WOW! Such amazing intertwining of passionate bodies engaged in pleasure. I underestimated my own body’s capacity for pleasure. I imagine it is because you need to experience it first and then your personal bar gets higher. My fantasies were not even close to our earthy reality.
I cried with joy yesterday because I truly felt that I would not ever experience this bliss. It grounds me. It feeds me. It makes me HAPPY! I am GRATEFUL!
7/27/24
Notes for upcoming MEA “Let’s Talk About Sex” panel:
What working with a M.E.O.W. (Male Escort for Older Women) has done to improve my health and wellbeing:
Weight loss (total 15 lbs.)
I feel alive in every cell of my body.
Vertigo—gone.
Occasional bladder leaks—gone.
Improved digestion.
Glowing skin.
Energy for all life things is BETTER.
Aches from aging—gone.
I laugh more.
I sing more.
I feel kinder (I am a kind person already).
My well is filled regularly so my patience is more robust. I can push away my resentment that caretaking can occasionally make you feel. (5 people in my family, including my husband, have real health challenges.)
7/30/24
I am in a state of awe. Michael and I have been having sessions for over 5 months now. The level of intimacy and sexual sensual pleasure is continuing to expand and amaze me.
Is this a gift with aging that you can “FEEL” so intensely? Possibly for me. Michael is younger and he is right there with me, so I don’t spend time on how.
When we are intimate, I am only right in there in every moment, right in that touch, right in the feeling, right there experiencing the pressure of our bodies, feeling the melding of our bodies together into one pulsing being.
It feels like we are the same wave rolling in pleasure. I feel dreamlike, but this is not a dream. It was my dream to have sexual pleasure back in my life. My intention has come to be and is WAY beyond my fantasies of what could be. The reality is spectacular. Thank you for being my conductor for this journey Michael. WOW and WOW.
Later in the morning:
We went deep into each other this last session. The anal sex was otherworldly. Afterwards I said the words, “I need to come back to earth.” I keep going over the experience in my head and I can’t stop smiling. It is all so significant and so pleasurable. I feel so alive and full.
We cuddled under the covers with our underwear on and it quickly turned into a very sexy sensual orgasmic wonderland. I love to be touched by Michael. It can be grounding, and it can take me to euphoric places. I have never experienced sexual playing this way. So great REALLY. My happy.
Before I left, we danced. So sexy. So sensual. So pleasurable. I have probably said “REALLY!?” a hundred times today. Such a lovely reality. Thank you for going there with me.
7/31/24
I have been thinking a lot about sexual honesty.
When I was in my 20’s I was resistant to explore my fantasies and sexual desires.
When I was in my 30’s I made requests around the edges of my sexual desires and did not feel heard or taken seriously. One man said, “you want that?” It never happened.
In my 40’s I experimented with my husband. We played well and it opened me up to some.
Then many medical events happened to derail our deep sex (penetration) for 17 years. Until I met Michael.
I am now in my late 60’s and, after seeing Michael for 5+ months, feel completely comfortable asking for what I want. And being open to what I didn’t know I wanted. What a gift. Maybe it should be called sexual courage.
8/8/24
I believe when you find a great sexual sensual partner, wether it is your spouse, lover or a M.E.O.W. (Male Escort for Older Women), after you get to know each other there is a oneness that happens with intense sex. The unity of two bodies integrating for pleasure is spectacular and deep.
The sweetness of finding the person’s lovely pleasure spots is exhilarating. Allow yourself to create a space for exploration with your partner and then to just be in the moment. Let it unfold.
I am truly amazed what intense pleasure two people can manifest when they are open. I am and Michael is too.
8/12/24
I have been aching to write. Michael and I had the gift of more time together. We took three nights away, traveling. I was so excited about the possibilities of this trip that the anticipation was consuming in all the best ways. The best part is that the reality was even better! REALLY.
Michael is usually the conductor of our sexual sessions. I will ask if I want something, but I am happy to be conducted. There is also the conduction of energy, warmth, passion, words, noise, tongues, hands, pussy, cock, asses and bodies intertwining for maximum touching and pleasure.
We saw a life-changing music show. It hit me that talented musicians have a touch, a feel that is their signature sound. Of course it takes talent. I believe the difference between good and awesome is that touch and feel.
Michael has this ability. Michael pays attention to what pleasures you and does it (me too). Michael also loves women and will enjoy their beauty and find their pleasure places.
Spending time without having sex was nice. Sleeping with someone you care about is lovely. Having meals together is sweet. The conversations. There was a lot of “we” and it felt good.
Next week I will have been seeing Michael for six months. My life has been improved in all the best ways. I feel younger, I have more energy (lots!), I am leaner, I am HAPPY, and I can take better care of my husband who I am the primary caretaker for at this point.
The regular filling of my body and soul is the key to my life juices. I underestimated the power of positive sexual energy. It is necessary for me. My advice…. GET SOME.
8/16/24
Michael and I had another amazing session yesterday. I believe we have taken cuddling to a new level of incredible. Michael may have been crafting this art, but it is new to me and very intoxicating. Clothes on or off, the body heat, touching and feeling send me to a very sensual place. It is both grounding and stimulating. The stimulation can easily bloom into full-blown erotic sex. The grounding is welcome when the session is ending, and I need to be back in my body. I treasure them both.
In sensual sex I don’t think there is a substitute for learning what you and your partner love to feel. The pressure of your touch. The places you love being touched (yes…everywhere!) The places he loves being touched. What you are open to and what are your off-limit boundaries (not much!) Talk about it. Some men in my past have not taken my sexual voraciousness seriously. Michael does. I feel seen. I feel that I can be my whole self. I want to explore her (Maddelyn) in every way possible. I am so in!
8/23/24
Our session was last Wednesday.
The best verbal line of the day was Michael saying “I don’t think I want a meal. [I usually feed him lunch.] I want to fuck you again instead.” It makes me smile just to write it. Being fucked was even better!
We have been having sessions together for six months now. I am very aware that this is the very best investment in my well-being, sexual health, and mental health that I have ever made. It is my “fountain of youth.” I feel like I am reverse aging. I feel younger and healthier and happier than ever.
Except for….
My home life with my husband has been incredibly difficult lately as he medically declines. Most people don’t practice for this kind of life-altering experience. I am making my way with my many skills every day.
The fact that I am giving myself the best distraction ever (intense lovely sex) makes a significant difference.
I also see a psychotherapist who has been on this journey with me for many years and is a real blessing. My friends and family are unwaveringly supportive, and each one is a treasure. Most of them know about Michael and are cheering my decision to take care of myself. This feels very life-affirming for me.
We have a date for Monday. I am in anticipation mode which I find very fun and sexy.
More soon….
8/27/24
I had another amazing session with Michael yesterday. The time just flew by as we were deep into the bliss of the moments.
Creating the space for sensual sexual experiences like ours is key to our exploration. We have made the time, arranged the space and had safe words to ensure that our desires are fulfilled but not pushed in a negative way.
Our safewords are…
“Red light”—stop and something is wrong
“Pink light”—pause the action, but nothing is wrong (e.g., I just need a break, I need to go pee, etc.)
“Yellow light”—I am at my edge, back off a little bit
“Green light”—Start the action again after red or pink light
I have never used the “Red light” in our sessions yet. The “Yellow light” once. The “Pink light” for breaks seems to come naturally. It is nice to have all these words there.
Talk to your partner, lover, M.E.O.W. (male escort for older women) about what your sexual desires are. Be involved in the journey. The pleasure that two bodies who are in tune can create is stunning to me. When we are having our sexual pleasure, I am not anywhere else but in that very moment. It is bliss. It is more pleasurable and connecting than I ever imagined.
Michael once said to me “I wish you could see the beauty I see.” I am more open to it than I used to be. The renewing of my body and soul with sexual energy has made this possible. Michael has made this possible. What a gift to the human spirit.
8/28/24
I would like to expand my thoughts on choices in sexual pleasure sessions. Being clear on what you like/love and what you don’t comes with experiences. I love deep-throat cock sucking, and many women don’t. I love many positions when Michael’s cock is in me.
Some positions or paces are uncomfortable for some women. Let your partner know. I like to be fucked hard, but occasionally it is too much, and I voice this. Michael slows down immediately in response to my requests.
I love to do what I call “sexual cuddling”: two bodies close together touching. It is very sexy, and the warmth of our bodies is a real turn-on. How do you orgasm? In my informal survey most women orgasm clitorally.
I never had a vaginal orgasm until I met Michael. I was surprised to find out many women had the same experience—only clitoral orgasms.
Do you love your nipples sucked and gently bitten? Do you like hot breath around your neck and ears with kisses? Do you like your bottom flogged lovingly to increase your sexual excitement? Let your partner know.
One of the beautiful things about aging is that I can be bluntly honest about my desires. When I was younger, I was very shy about bringing it into sexual experiences. It was not always welcomed or taken seriously. It is welcome now. YES!
9/11/24
I have had three sessions with Michael since the last time I wrote in my diary.
In the first one I got very hot (temperature and yes, the sex too) and my hair was wet. I asked for air. Michael opened a window. The air caressed my body. The heat of Michael next to me and the air caressing me ignited intense orgasms. I found this incredibly erotic. It was a first-time experience for me. The whole time together seemed otherworldly with some of the most incredible sex we have had.
Our bodies were one. Amazing feelings were emanating from us, and I could feel us. It was an “us’ experience. The passion just kept growing and being more intense. We snack, and take bathroom breaks but desire got us back in bed.
The other two sessions were a weekend away with a sexy twist.
I had a dear friend who had not had sex in 10 years. I brought her Michael as a present. I had her permission, and she was very excited. She had a significant birthday, which I had not remembered, and it made it even better. I had a lovely session with Michael on Sunday, and her session was on Monday. We had a hotel room, and she came there. I went to the spa for a few hours to give them time together.
It was a very positive and opening experience for her. Her face was glowing and beautiful. A priceless picture! When I returned to our room, we had some super sexy turned-on sex! I think we both were so passionate about sharing sensual goodness that it heightened ours. I think it was the nicest present I have ever given anyone. It gave me joy. I was excited before it happened and after.
9/28/24
This is how I started my last session with Michael:
Imagine a huge room covered with a thick mat. Then add two people with clothes on—me and another woman rolling around and getting as much body contact as possible. I had never had a session before, and we felt each other immediately. The rolling is gentle, and you don’t have a destination. It is to be in the moment to feel and be felt. It is very erotic and sensual.
Then add Michael. Three people rolling in a ball to ensure constant body contact and movement. So incredible! We also talked as we were moving. I have written about my love for “sexual cuddling”, and this goes beyond that. There is also an ease because you are clothed. This is not a sexual event, even though it is very erotic for me. An hour went by is a very pleasurable flash. I am not sure what this is called but I love it and want to do it again.
Then Michael and I had alone time. Our sex was very heightened and exquisite.
I was so turned on by the experience of rolling and what it added to “us” that we went into a much deeper sensual sexual place together.
Some of my readers know that being with Michael started as a birthday present to myself. It is the best investment I have ever made in myself. It will go beyond my birthday because it is the best possible medicine for me. t balances all the stress of caretaking and allows me to blossom and feel more alive than ever.
10/24/24
I have not written in a while. Both my husband and my father have large life challenges, and I am the main caregiver. It is taking all my skills and patience to manage.
That makes my “erotic escapes” with Michael even more important for me. It is a selfish lovely time. I don’t think of anything else but us. The sensual sex is incredible, and it fills me with joy. Joy is my life force. It allows me perspective and patience to serve others. There is no joy with my father or husband. I will always reach for joy.
I have a clear intention to take care of myself as I am taking care of others.
10/29/24
I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror and said to myself “YOU are beautiful!” I feel more beautiful because my sessions with Michael have allowed me to blossom (we had one yesterday). I feel that parts of me had been dormant and were just bursting to come out. There is the wild and passionate sex, which is my fountain of youth. There is also wisdom, kindness, deep conversation, self-awareness, and a more compassionate awareness of others. Putting my needs first has not always been easy. Now it is so very clear that it is what gives me the ability to make a difference for others.
I had a conversation with a woman who was forty. She said at forty she was “old and achy.” She asked, “aren’t you?”
“NO!” I replied. “You are too young to be old. You have so much ahead of you!” She just shook her head. As I am heading towards seventy, I feel much younger than at many points in my life.
Deep down in me I knew what I needed, and found a way to make it so. I am grateful every second of my days that I did. I love the blossoming journey with Michael. More, more and more……..please!
11/6/24
I am submissive by choice. It makes me hot when Michael wants to do something he has imagined, and we do it. I get so much out of our sessions that I want to pleasure him and indulge him in his fantasies. I have mentioned before that I like rough sex. I am not talking about pain. It is the heightened sensation of being flogged and slapped that takes me to incredible places. It is just part of what we do together. I love riding his cock on top. Lately I think being on all fours is my favorite position. It is hard to have a favorite because they all feel so great.
It is a huge gift for me to just disappear into us during our session. I don’t think about anything else, and it is so renewing to be filled with sensual sexy sex. I also find him to be a trusted advisor. I treasure our conversations. I am thankful for all the steps in my life that have led me to a MEOW (Male Escort for Older Women). My dear friend asked me today “What are you going to give yourself for your birthday?” I replied “I have already! It is Michael!”
11/22/24
I have been overwhelmed with some parts of life lately and have not been writing. The sessions with Michael are the pure essence that keeps me going. They allow me to be able to care for others. Our sessions are not purely about me. They are about us. This is how I want them to be. I am much more of a “we” person than a “me “person.
I also have noticed amazing positive changes in my body. Having regular sensual sex is very grounding for me. I feel younger than I have already been. Even with the challenges of my life right now; I am looking forward to more blooming of me. I am so very ready. The power of connection should not be underestimated. There is touch. There is intellectual stimulation. There is being truly seen. It is all such a turn on for me.
And the anticipation is very sweet. When I leave Michael, I am brimming with contentment. As a week passes I WANT more. Please.
11/30/24
These are a few of my favorite things………………….(not in any particular order)
Cuddling. Kissing. Looking at Michael. Keeping eye contact. Sucking his cock. Sucking his balls. Fucking in every position that we can think of. Anal probing with fingers. Anal fucking. Losing myself in the absolute pleasure of the moment. Getting rocked with music and sex. Saying “Michael”. Having my body caressed. Feeling breath on my skin. Breath in my ears. Being gently flogged Being flogged hard on my ass. Pleasuring Michael. Lying on the bed, contracting after being well sexed. Feeling Michael’s warmth next to me. Michael’s gentle caresses, which bring me back down to earth. Pillow talk. Knowing that next week is only seven days away……………………………
1/4/25
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life for me
And I’m feeling good
From Nina Simone, “Feeling Good”
My New Year song in my head……………………new year and new age.
I feel renewed. I have been on a soon-to-be 10 months of blooming into my sensual, sexual, sexy self.
When you have a M.E.O.W (male escort for older women) to explore your sexual journey with, amazing things happen. I feel like Michael and I have “tuned in” to each other, Like a finely tuned instrument. We know the sensory places, the beautiful notes, the touches that start the crescendos of feelings and lead to the incredible sex that feels like two bodies are one. Like musical instruments playing a piece, and you hear the melody but not the individual instrument.
It is calmer now. We don’t need to be in such a hurry. I was so very hungry in the beginning of our sessions (17 years hungry!) that my list of “do” was long. Now, I don’t have a list. I just want to experience more of everything and be in our moments and nowhere else. I am open and incredibly relaxed in our sessions. More please!
4/6/25
Hello, Madelyn here…….it has been too long since I have shared my life and thoughts.
I have been through some very challenging times. I needed to move mountains (well, it felt like it) to take care of my husband.
The beauty that kept me sane during all of this is my time with Michael. The sessions we had together buoyed me and prevented me from going down a depressed path (I do not suffer from depression). The regular stirring of sensual sexual juices kept me feeling strong and alive. The blunt life conversations we had also served as a reality check for what I was challenged by. The intimacy of our sex and the intimacy of our conversations were stabilizing for me.
I am blessed with the ability to just disappear in us. To be in that very second and nowhere else. It allows me to FEEL and truly experience NOW. During and after our sessions, I feel satiated and refreshed. This is the best gift to me EVER!
Michael and I have been playing with role play. It is such a turn on. You can be whoever you want to be in a very safe way. Most of my fantasies are fantasies. The reality of them would not necessarily be pleasurable. So, for me, role play is fun and adds to our already incredible sensual sex.
I also like rough sex. I like to be flogged to increase pleasure. I don’t let it get to pain. I know I can use our safe word if it’s too much (I have not used it so far).
As difficult as things have been in taking care of my husband, I have not lost sight of how fortunate I am. I have the skills to navigate all my challenges (so far). I am an older woman who feels beautiful, comfortable in her own skin and sexy. I want to keep exploring this part of me that was quiet for so many years. I want to shout it out loud now!
4/8/25
I love the warmth of Michael’s body next to mine. I find it very erotic to feel the heat and then be touched by his whole body as his fingers explore me. I have orgasms when we cuddle like this. My orgasms can also start with passionate kissing.
I never had a vaginal orgasm before I started my sessions with Michael. I find clitoral and vaginal orgasms unique from each other. I have done an informal survey with my female pals and most only have clitoral orgasms, very few have both, and some only vaginally. I always masturbate with attention on my clitoris. I was not aware that women masturbate their fingers inside their vagina. I love living and learning (especially about sex)! I find that I do not masturbate as much now that I am having regular sessions with Michael. I am very satiated in our sensual sexy sex.
I will be seeing Michael at the end of this week. He has been traveling and our session time changed. I find anticipation very sexy. Looking forward is HOT! The ache of sexual tension that you know will be quenched is intoxicating. I am so ready!
4/29/25
A friend asked me recently if Michael was a good kisser. Yes, yes and YES!
Our very first session started with a kiss that I felt all the way down my body to my toes. There are so many sexy sensual things to do with the mouth. Kissing, nibbling, warm breath near the skin. They all send me to my erotic pleasure place. And words are also a super turn-on. Sweet words, role play, and sharing fantasies. I am also a verbal lover. It heightens feelings when you can express your joy.
When Michael is sucking and licking my pussy he will also breathe gently on the clitoris. It REALLY sends me to a full feeling of my sweet sensual place.
I also love Michael to breathe in my neck and even gently nibble. It also sends me immediately into erotic bliss.
Then there are the things I love to do with my mouth. All the above to start. I also love to suck cock. When a cock is soft the nerve endings are closer together, so the feelings are more intense. I love to swallow it soft and feel it grow in my mouth and throat. It is one of my happy places between Michael’s legs and pleasuring him. I love to watch his face when he feels what I am doing.
I also love to explore Michael’s body with kisses, breath and gentle nibbles. This goes well with sensual cuddling. I love to feel his body heat next to mine. It makes me hot just to feel his warm body next to mine.
So, that one kiss over a year ago has led to my best self-emerging. I continued to explore my sexy self and let this part of me be blissfully free. What an incredible journey!
5/1/25
Last week I was in my bathroom naked and passed by my large mirror. “Who is that?” I said to myself. I saw beauty. I still have not gotten used to my new sexy body. I have been weighing this new lower weight for six months. It took me six months to lose it (25 pounds), and it was not on my list of to do’s. I lost it because my sensual sexual juices are flowing, I am happier and getting what I need for myself in my sessions with Michael.
For a long time, I have been comfortable in my own skin. Now I feel comfortable in my body, too. I feel ready for life, I feel strong, and I feel beautiful. Just admitting that I feel more beautiful makes me feel shy but being my best self is a constant work in progress.
When I was younger, my weight was a protective shield from unwanted attention. Now, I am mature and much wiser. I have my boundaries and do not feel like I need protection. I have open arms and an open heart for what is coming next. I have a huge desire to explore my sensual sexual self. Michael encourages me and that is sexy. Stay tuned!
6/17/26
I have been having weekly sessions with Michael for over a year now. I am amazed by the changes in me. I have more energy. I feel more sexy, beautiful and even more comfortable in my own skin. I have more patience and grace. I feel alive and ready for whatever may come. And I come (YES!), and life challenges come (to many!).
What I have also observed is that my orgasms have evolved. I did not have a vaginal orgasm until I met Michael. It just happened. I was so READY! Of course, this is an incredible positive for someone who only had clitoral orgasms for 69 years. When I masturbated, I would come very quickly, and it was very intense and loud. Now, my orgasms are a long slow and delightful build with contractions that last a long time. They are much more breathy and quieter. I also get in states of orgasmic bliss where orgasming lasts even hours (vaginal). WOW!
I leave our sessions totally satiated most of the time. When I am satiated, I don’t feel the need to masturbate. I can also leave our session very ignited. When I get ignited, I masturbate during the week, and I feel my wetness lingering.
I feel truly grateful to be on this journey of sensual exploration. At my very core I want any woman who desires more to have it. Sensual sexual energy and getting well sexed regularly is the best gift we can give ourselves. It is an investment in YOU!
8/1/25
I have been noticing more about what ignites me sensually and sexually. A self-experiment of a sexual sort. In our sessions, Michael and I played with breath and heat. I am a heat seeker. I love body heat. Michael’s body next to mine is a total erotic turn-on. Michael started using his hot breath on my clitoris and I am amazed how much feeling it stimulates. It sends me off. Just breathing close to my clitoris or the warm tongue not moving, but on my clitoris, is more sensual to me than licking and sucking. Who knew!
Michael’s warm breath on my neck, ears, or other places tingles along my skin, igniting my senses with a beautiful intensity.
I love being touched and I love touching. I get pleasure from pleasuring Michael. In between his legs is one of my happy places.