Frequently Asked Questions

Let your imagination run wild. What would make our time together most special for you? I can’t wait to hear about it.

Money is the least interesting part of our connection—but it’s probably the part you’re wondering about most at the start, so let’s get it out of the way!

Currently, my rate is $350 per hour, with a two-hour minimum. Tips are not expected.

I recommend (but do not require) an initial visit of three hours, to give us more time to get to know each other and ease into our experience together.

Over time, you will likely find that three hour visits are the ideal time—though I’m happy to do two hours if that fits your budget or schedule better.

I prefer cash or bitcoin (I can teach you how to send bitcoin 🙂 I also accept PayPal, VenMo, or Zelle.

Longer appointments and experiences are available by discussion.

At your place, or at a hotel or AirBnB of your choosing in the SF Bay Area. (I also have access to lovely studio we can use in San Rafael, Marin for a small additional fee.)

I am based in the East Bay, and drive to your place or hotel in the East Bay or Marin.

If you want me to visit you in San Francisco or the Peninsula I ask that you cover my round-trip Uber, as I want to be in the best energy possible for our time together, and SF driving/parking detracts from that 🙂

I am also available to travel to you beyond the Bay, or for weekend getaways, etc., by discussion.

You are paying me for time, attention, and companionship. Anything else that may occur between us during our time together behind closed doors is a matter between consenting adults, and is no business of the state.

If we see each other enough, we just might! But a specific kind of love. I call it “untangled love.” Untangled love is focused on the present moment, on seeing the beauty of each other as human beings, in the here and now, without any expectations or agenda other than presence, honesty, and clear communication.

I distinguish untangled love from “intertwined love,” which is the more traditional kind of romantic love in relationships, and which is depicted in movies, novels, and love songs.

“Intertwined love” involves creating a shared narrative of a comingled future together: two become one. This is beautiful. This is what you may have with a partner now, or likely have had in romantic relationships in the past.

And yet, there are other ways to love. In untangled love, we commit to love each other as deeply as we can in the here and now without placing any expectations or obligations on the other, aside from basic kindness, respect, honestly, and open communication. Other than than, we are sovereign beings, free to come and go, without any emotional hooks, loving each other in the present without future narratives or present tangles.

I’m not a therapist, but the sharing of intimacy within a professional context does have a lot in common with the emotional and financial dynamics of therapy. Ideally, a good therapist is not just doing it for the money—they believe in the work and generally enjoy it, they authentically care about you, and they genuinely want to help you live the best life possible.

That said, the therapist is also doing that caring in the context of a profession. It’s how they have time on their calendar to see you, rather than doing something else to make a living.

Erotic companionship is similar. I genuinely care about you as a client. I enjoy our time together and believe in the value of providing this offering. I want you to be happy. I aim to please (and I’m good at it!)

And… the money is what allows me to have time to focus this care and attention on you and be available regularly for you. (Rather than, say, doing freelance copywriting, which is how I used to make a living before this.) You’d probably rather have me gazing into your eyes, listening deeply to you, and holding you tenderly, rather than writing ad copy for you. Your payment is what allows me to do the former, and not the latter.

While the idea of paying for time of erotic intimacy together can bring up some emotions at first (which I’m happy to support you with), I have found that it also brings a lot of benefits for the client as well:

Specifically, it allows our time together to be 100% about you.

Every relationship, whether a marriage, a friendship, a lovership, or a professional encounter, requires reciprocity of energy over time. When that reciprocity from you is handled on my side up front via the payment, it allows everything else that happens after to be focused entirely on you.

(Just like when you pay a therapist, that means you don’t then have to spend half the time talking with them about how their week went. You get to spend the whole hour focused on you.)

Given how much energy you put out into the world and how much you care for others, wouldn’t you like some time focused entirely and unwaveringly on you?

Yes, you will, once we meet. I am a moderately well-known book author. Currently, I do not wish to link my public author identity with my M.E.O.W. identity, so I’m using a different name for this side of my life. However, if we meet together, I’m already trusting you (and vice versa) so I enjoy entrusting you with my identity as well. It will be our little secret 😉

A few details I’m happy to share here: I’m 47. I have an undergraduate degree from an Ivy League university. I’ve written several non-fiction books that have been published by major New York publishers. I write about (and love talking with you about) philosophy, consciousness, spirituality, relationships, love, psychology, psychedelics, and personal development. My writing has been published in major outlets including the New York Times and the Washington Post. I’ve been salsa dancing since I was fifteen (happy to take you out salsa dancing!) and used to teach salsa dance professionally. I’ve traveled all over the world and am fluent in Spanish.

You’ll get to see me soon enough, on our initial Zoom call before we meet in person. (See the Let’s Meet section below for info on how to set that up.) Currently, I’m keeping myself visually private from the Internet.

I’m 5’9″, 175 pounds, with an athletic build. I’m ethnically Jewish, have a shaved head, and blue eyes. I keep in shape via a mix of weightlifting, cardio, rollerblading, salsa dancing, and training in Krav Maga (an intense self-defense modality) multiple times a week.

The feature of mine that gets the most attention, aside from my blue eyes, is honestly my butt. For some random genetic reason, I was gifted with what many women have told me is the finest ass they’ve ever seen on a man. I get a lot of attention for it when I go out (from gay men as well as women!) The butt gods smiled upon me when handing out butts.

A friend reached out to me, telling me that she had a friend who had a friend in her eighties seeking this type of companionship. (Three degrees of separation!) My friend figured I might be open to it, as I’m open-minded, adventurous, polyyamorous, and have written in favor of decriminalizing sex work.

I decided to give it a try and meet this friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend. It went beautifully from the start. We saw each other almost thirty times within the first six months alone. Now, here I am!

I am fortunate to be in love with a wonderful woman who is completely supportive of my work. We have been together for over a year and a half and have lived together for over a year. We are polyamorous primary partners. She knows in general about the work I do and loves that I support other women in this way. We both agree that I do not share any details about my clients with her (nor do I share details with anyone else.)

Typically, my clients like to see me once a week or every other week. (That said, any pace that works for you is fine; I have no expectations around this).

If we’re in a rhythm in the weekly to semi-weekly range, it’s lovely to stay in touch with texts and voice notes a few times a week in between.

I like hearing about your days, your triumphs and challenges, and offering supportive and encouraging words.

However,  I ask that you do not expect communication between our sessions. (And if you don’t want communication in between sessions, that’s fine too.)

It’s a lovely garnish, but the main dish is our sessions.

I’m highly trained and experienced as a Dom, have taught classes and workshops in this field, and in fact have trained several aspiring dominatrixes. I’m happy to discuss any kink or BDSM fantasies you have (dominance, submission, role play, bondage, etc), and how we might explore them together. It’s very likely we can come up with scenarios that touch exactly the hidden emotional and psychological spot you want touched!

That said, if you simply want old-fashioned intimacy, without a collar or flogger in sight, I love that too. If you don’t bring it up yourself, I may occasionally suggest light BDSM activities as an option, but it’s never something I would pressure you towards. (In fact, I would never ever pressure you towards anything, kinky or not!) We’re here for intimacy, presence, and authentic connection, however that looks to you, from mild to wild, tame to inflamed.

My practice is based on privacy and discretion—it is a fundamental value in our experience together. You need a complete assurance of privacy to feel safe, and you can rest in that assurance from me.

Here are some things I do to assure your privacy:

  • I never mention your name or any details about you to anyone else.
  • I make sure that our channel of communication (be it text, email, voice memo, Signal, etc.) is one that you can check without any chance of others seeing it. I prefer Signal, as it’s the most privacy-respecting channel, but anything that is convenient and private for you is fine.
  • I do not make unplanned phone calls to you (who knows who might be in the room with you at that moment!) I request the same in return.
  • I prefer cash payment—it’s the most private. Bitcoin is reasonably private too.
  • On my end, I use Proton Mail for email. This is one of the most private, secure email providers on the planet. (I highly recommend it! 🙂

I’m so glad you asked! Here are the next steps